Reflection: When Life Gets Hard, Take Time and Reflect

2:42 AM

Time runs so fast. Just like today, before i knew it, the time turns to 1.00 am in the morning. When i counted it, i already worked 13 hours today. Well, just typical day of my life. My life wasn`t like this before i started my new business. I have never imagined that start something by your own is really tiring. I have a family business in Mojokerto, an electrical antenna business and it wasn`t this tiring. When i glanced back when i started that antenna business, i really can not say enough thanks to the help from my parents. Starting by my own like this really exaggerate the meaning of their contribution back then.

I have lost all my likings for the job. I love teaching and dancing, you girls, might know that already from my profile. I used to teach and i enjoyed so much. One by one i let my teaching job go and focus solely on my new bussiness. I also didn`t dance anymore. A lot of time i get a fight with my BF too, because i am too busy working. I often left him alone when we have a date and went to the counter to solve a problem. Sometimes this kind of thing pissed him a lot. I left my violin in the corner of my room. Left unplayed. 

At this point, i was wondering, why do i work this hard? What for? My life becomes very boring and tiring. Well, i know all of this are consequences, i accept, but i can`t help being sad. Choices have consequences. This just a part of it. I remembered once my lecturer remind me not to work and push myself too hard because i might come to a point of burn out. Burn out, and it will be hard to fight and stand back again.

Well, i might as well as being burn out this time. After time and time think and doing some reflection. I really feel that i didn`t regret to choose the business. I have met important people of my life. I met my best friend and my mentor, James, who had helped me through difficult days. Even though he is faraway in Singapore, he always all ears and brain to me. He helped me solve the company problems and being patient with my feeble and moody habit.

All the fights i had with my boyfriends are worth it. It hurts, yes. But then, after all the fights, didn`t i get to see his true colors, and my true colors. I really reflect all this time. We endure all and our relationship is stronger. We understand now that relationship is not all about movie, texting, romance, flowers, and all that happy thing. Our effort to understand each other and willingness to help each other matters. When i saw him help me, like lifting sugar containers (each 30 kgs), running errands around the city, repairing the store until 2 in the morning. I was grateful. The saying that said "two is better than one" really is true. 

I learned so much during this time also. Later when we succeed, i will never forget the time i almost got into accidents when i run errands with my motorcycle. I will never forget that lonely - unfair days, when it feels like no one can help me and i have been left alone. All these bitterness will come to an end one day :). If i quit now because i burn out, those bitterness and hard works will come to a vain. Nothing but waste of time and efforts. I have to walk strong and work harder until i can see that the bussiness succeed. 

I do believe so.

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